boss told me not to tell anyone i'm leaving

She ended the conversation by telling me not to tell anyone about our conversation (aka me resigning). If your boss is like this, be vague: "I'm considering a couple of different options" you can say. It sounds as if your boss is panicking. This is a ridiculous and desperate request. But in most cases, in professional environments, people appreciate the opportunity to say goodbye and good luck to a valued colleague. *Id like to hope you didnt make comments when your employee left about how their contributions might be seen differently if they did something like inform THE BOARD that they had resigned*. Its Orwellian. . He told me hed tell the board and asked for a few days to figure out the messaging, then angrily stomped into my office two days later and demanded to know why I hadnt told anybody I was leaving. For others, youd want to have a lawyer in the wings. The album was originally to be called The Vishnu Room after the song of the same name, but was changed, along with its original cover design, shortly before release in support of the Ban Bossy campaign. When staff resigned, it was really important that we approached it sensitively with clients, especially the ones on our caseload. But if you're on good terms with them and just shy about big parties and rounds of applause, you can let them know you're going but privately ask your boss (who hopefully knows this about you already) to intercept anyone trying to organise farewell cakes/speeches/whatever. Im sorry you are worrying about all this when youre getting ready to start a new job. Yay exciting! I'm leaving on good terms, but for reasons I can't elaborate upon, I wasn't able to let you all know until today." etc. You can always speak to your coworkers after your departure and there is never any need to bad mouth the boss. When I quit, I was planning to absolutely refuse to keep it a secret but by that point, she knew better than to ask me, I think. Because if you dont tell me what the plan is, Im going to start making my own. If they have another opening, please let me know.". 101 I handed in my notice this week and my boss has told me that he has not said anything to the team because he "knows that it is my personal business and is something that I need to do in my own time". Genres: Business, Comedy, Romance. I was moving because my husband got a job in ANOTHER STATE, but whatever. Suicidal depression? Your manager cuts off communication entirely, and won't respond to your email messages or texts. I like the pay a lot. No matter the case, its not going to be your problem to solve. Write a letter thanking about their teamwork, dedication and cooperation. update: how do I avoid mom energy with my younger employees? . Over at Reddits legaladvice sub, we sometimes *do* have a feeling that theres more to the story, but there as here, IMO, if the person seeking advice has misrepresented things, the resulting advice will be imperfect and/or harmful. But really, it shouldn't be a big deal either way. I have no idea if it was due to a personal matter, their own annoyance about something at work, a bad reaction, they did something wrong etc. Some of them told me to leave the company asap because they are worried what might happen in my final weeks at the company. You tell your boss. Could the volunteers you told then go to the board and let them know? @RuiFRibeiro: In my experience, I've always been asked where I'm going when I submit a resignation. It sounds like a threat! Connect and share knowledge within a single location that is structured and easy to search. Boss then talked at me for about fifteen minutes about the million reasons why I shouldn't leave. The last place I resigned from (small company) the CEO told me good luck in my new endeavors on the first day after I resigned and then nobody in management ever spoke to me again although my direct boss did email me once about something really petty. Then just go ahead and keep doing what youre doing. 7. "You don't . As for potential retaliation she could decide to tell people something false about the terms of your departure (like that you were fired, or couldnt hack it, or who knows what). Quit without notice? an acquaintance I recommended proselytized to all my clients (with singing), employee lied about his mom dying, coworker is a magpie, and more, my new employee is the parent of my childs bully, how to ask for a raise (because you need to), our remote employees were excluded from our company appreciation day, people keep asking why I wear pantyhose, career coach wants me to use someone elses job title, and more, the faked heart attack, the very smart dog, and other (amazing) stories of pettiness at work. Ive always done things this way, and seen others do it this way. As for the board of directors in a lot of nonprofits the staff doesnt have much contact with the board, but Im guessing that you do since youre bringing it up. Ive had a client-facing job where I was asked to not tell anyone I was leaving. When I had been there a few years one of our partners around an annual event commented on how nice it was to actually have the same person to talk to multiple years in a row instead of having to explain things again to a new person every year. This isnt a run-of-the-mill meh, the new boss has some different priorities, so Im going to try my luck elsewhere.. Soooo flighty. Except that its up to her to say to the LW OK, with the turnover in our organization I would like to avoid giving our customers the impression that things are unstable here, so here is how I want to go about communicating this That is, its not up to the LW to anticipate this desire and abstain from completely normal conversation about doing a completely normal thing (changing jobs). Never Has Time for You. Also, there's the human factor - people will want to say their good-byes; if you just up and leave, they are more likely to think negatively about you than if you give them some advance warning. To be clear, I think this is also an area where its possible that the employees grasp on things is off. Should I tell my boss I'm leaving before going job-hunting? I believe weve been requested by Alison to generally give the letter writers the benefit of the doubt? I was going to grad school so it actually didnt have to do with him, but I guess he thought it would make him look bad. If you prefer to have your boss announce this, ask him to do so. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Quit in Person. Its a lot of work and completely disruptive to the rest of the business if someone goes rogue there. Incidentally, my organization has a routine multi-step process, which involves putting together a transition plan, making formal announcements, doing exit interviews, etc. Training and KT (knowledge transfer) is happening everytime in a company and that doesn't even due to a leave of an employee. Before too long, the company might be facing an exodus of employees if not managed well. Several of us warned the higher ups about the new manager but they didnt listen, so a chunk of the team left within 6 months. From what you've said it seems like your boss is completely relaxed about this and foresees no problems. If something was to accidently happen or if someone schedule is over booked by other tasks it is handy to be able to off load/transfer tasks on short notice. All pressure you felt in the old place has now fallen away from you. I mean youve already told people right? and our For all I know, they told them I got fired for cause, or dragged outside and shot, orwho knows. 60 And boss gave no legitimate reason on why OP should keep quiet. But how you leave, and who you tell what completely depends on the type of job you have. Admittedly my raised voice was quieter and shorter than some of the others, (mostly consisting of me saying Are you calling me a liar? very loudly), but still. What is she going to do to you in the short OR the long run? Before you leave, send a group email saying that you will miss everyone and enjoyed your time with them. They seemed really shocked that they hadnt been notified. And hey, that could be just fine! I fully agree that the OPs boss doesnt seem to be on the up and up with their actions and comments, my comment was more to address the why would a manager ask an employee not to say anything question I realize all of that background stuff isnt necessarily well known from the employee side. why does music become less harmonic if we transpose it down to the extreme low end of the piano? (Ive been in a lot of jobs where I was working closely with one other person who shares my role/title, and it would feel very odd for them to find out Im leaving at the same time as the larger department.) Are my family and friends overreacting? Reddit, Inc. 2023. If one day he had just said, "Oh, by the way, today's my last day," or, worse, one Monday morning our manager tells us, "So, John's not with the company anymore," well, John's never again getting hired at a company I work at for the rest of my life. It will likely not look good on you. Found out during my notice when a couple of her peers shared she was doing this & I then told everyone I was leaving for a new opportunity and then she was dead to me ;). 6. Even to the immediate office staff. Usually its phrased in a, Im very committed to ensuring a smooth transition and documenting my knowledge + Im deferring to the manager on how/when to share the news since theyre the ones that will actually still be sticking around to deal with the transition + but obviously were going to tell people before my actual last day.. When you leave a company, you want to leave a good last impression for everyone. That is pretty different than telling everyone before she turned in her resignation, though honestly I think that giving some colleagues a heads up that youre about to resign isnt an inherently objectionable course to take. She could also have you leave earlier than youd planned, meaning you could potentially lose access to the contact info for people you wanted to inform so gather that now and make sure you have it at home with you (assuming that doesnt violate any rules of your workplace). Thanks for keeping me in the loop." You tell your boss. There is no time for management to dither and failure to take the appropriate steps can reflect poorly on OP. LW, I think you have it right, I think your message to the volunteers was perfect and I hope youre able to continue letting people know that youre leaving. Your letter also already pretty much says it but Id also say it affirms why you are leaving. update: if I quit my job when everyone else is quitting, the organization will fall apart, rude instructor comments on our food choices, husband wont wear noise-canceling headphones at home, and more, coworker is always late because she stops for coffee, my boss told me to change my ringtone, and more, updates: unhappy with changes at work, asking to unblock a website, and more. Out of nowhere, your boss assigns you to cross-train another employee on your duties. Don't Trash-Talk When You Quit Your Job. All you have to do is tell a few individuals and let the rumor mill take it from there. FWIW, I think its all about controlling the narrative, and there are sometimes good reasons for that. How AlphaDev improved sorting algorithms? and gotten an auto-reply which said Sarras no longer with the company. Uh huh. All rights reserved. If you have no particular responsibilities, and are pretty much interchangeable with your colleagues, then there's nothing to do here. NOT A SOUL. So while what you choose to do is ultimately up to you, there are probably people who do *need* to know as Alison says and/or there are people who would appreciate the heads up that youre leaving. People you might not think even care could turn out to be your strongest allies in the future. Then she told me that the company was very busy, and that if I leave now, my co-workers will have too much work. Weve transitioned all her accounts over to Jim, and here is his contact information. While this is all going on I ask the resigning employee to start documenting what they have open, their activities, and to start thinking about suggestions for coverage (short term), Then we announce it to their team together (I ask them to announce it in a team meeting, and then Ill take over to explain the short term transition plan (or tell them Im still working on the short term transition plan)). One of the owners had known this client for 2 decades and lied to his face. Obviously only you can judge if its worth burning your bridge with her to protect it with others. Saying it all out loud and letting them know youre on to them and their tactics and they might be in legal trouble usually stops the bully. I saw that she had a new job on LinkedIn. Right after that meeting, I responded to emails from two long-time volunteers about the volunteer schedule for next year, and let them know that while I was leaving, the organization valued their service and that when my successor was chosen, they would be in touch with them about the schedule. We hired her and she was great. If you're in a software development team with a specific area of responsibility nobody else is as familiar with, leaving like that without a warning would border on intentionally evil. She doesnt want to announce my leaving yet. The Story of Namkhing, a new graduate who has come to work at Fah Prachanakun Company, with Payu was sitting on the podium as CEO. Whatever's important to them. This is really the sort of thing your lawyer should be doing. Otherwise, this is your boss's responsibility to manage, but depending on your role you might be heavily involved in it or it might even be delegated to you. What if youre leaving for personal reasons that you really dont want to discuss with your colleagues? He was a terrible manager, and the previous person in my role had also been a fresh college grad who left fairly quickly. Just be aware of the consequences when you decide. yikes, sounds very much like things happening over the last year at a place I used to work. Not answering would be rude, as would an answer like "It's none of your business". And, while I have every desire to work within in your plan and make things as smooth as possible, I have my own interests. For a example end of a release there are time. The best answers are voted up and rise to the top, Not the answer you're looking for? ), etc. Which makes me realize that OPs source for her colleagues departures being retirements ALSO came from her bosshmmmm. As a manager I will ask this of a resigning employee, especially a manager or anyone client facing. I personally would not be confrontational but I would go back and say that after thinking about it you do not think that it is a good idea to not tell agencies you work with that you will be leaving as it will seem abrupt, that you plan and making an announcement in a few days and see how long she thinks she needs. I wasnt going to lie to people in my personal life.. You can always just answer "I felt that it was time for a change", which is probably a) true and sounds b) entrepeneurical. Turns out she did this to spin things that she pushed me out to reorganize the department. You certainly don't need to throw a party on your last day. Difficult to think about for a while afterwards. It just bothered me that I had no idea where they told clients I had gone. It's bad for their motivation and teamwork collaboration with you. You don't think the colleagues would catch a hint if you suddenly start training them to take over your various responsibilities one by one? I think the 35 years and stellar service records referred to the departed co-workers. You don't say what industry you're in, but I can tell you right now, as a software engineer, this would be the worst way for a colleague of mine to leave. Id say this to your boss: I can wait a few days so you have time to figure out the messaging about how my work will be covered, but I cant not tell professional contacts that Im moving on, especially since Ill be updating my LinkedIn and my broader network., If your boss is normally a reasonable person aside from this (it sounds like shes not, but just in case) you could add, I of course dont want to do anything to hurt the organization. And not telling people appears to give her license to continue to ignore those issues and rug sweep. Labour has welcomed the government's NHS workforce plan but says it comes too late to solve the crisis in the health service. It seemed to be some sort of mind game. And honestly, if a manager wants people to shut up about leaving, then theyll have to deal with the fallout, including whatever gets lost in the transition because people couldnt be open about leaving. Whatever they did to prompt the entire staff to leave within a few months after the leadership transition is whats making the organization look unstable. I prompt an AI into generating something; who created it: me, the AI, or the AI's author? I personally keep my life drama free and would do as little as possible when leaving a job to create any. It wouldve Not Okay if theyd emailed (which they tended to do several times a week!) Very unreasonable expectation on your boss part and it certainly wont make planning your replacement easier. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Still one of the strangest exits from a position Ive ever hard. I am guessing they are mostly empty threats but I would be concerned about the fact the new leadership has engaged in shady behavior in the past. At the point at which youre comparing them to an employee who was disruptive when they left, it seems like were beyond that, personally. Id call her bluff if you felt up to it, but then I am unwilling to be threatened and to back down from confrontation. So she wants to control the message which in this case seems to mean completely hiding the news. The boss confronts the employee. Yours is a reasonable request. Youre leaving, and its better for the people who have to carry on without you to have as much time as possible to make the transition. I think the traditional way to quietly announce your departure is to mention your upcoming departure to the front-desk receptionist and say "don't tell anyone", and before you reach your desk the news will have spread across the company. by Alison Green on October 21, 2021 A reader writes: I work for a small nonprofit that underwent a leadership transition earlier this year. I want to ensure that my profession contacts have my latest contact info. Never ever try to write your letter of good bye or inform others that you are leaving company. And it's going to become public knowledge anyway as soon as you start briefing whoever will be taking over your duties. This time I was polite, but firm, in telling her that I was moving on. Further to answers already here, it's a good idea to let people know, even if it's just your team so any tacit knowledge you have can be documented and/or passed over. If your plan doesnt take my interests into account, Im going to make my own. I left a job a couple of years ago and I was told not to tell any clients I was leaving, until right at the end when they would have something pending for like the *next day* and I needed to tell them they would have a different point of contact. I handed in my notice this week and my boss has told me that he has not said anything to the team because he "knows that it is my personal business and is something that I need to do in my own time". Update crontab rules without overwriting or duplicating. A vengeful boss can use their influence to sabotage you at a new place, either by spreading industry rumors or going to your new employer and telling them not to hire you (terrible, but it happens). The LW has also their own reputation to consider, after all. It sounded to me like a threat. Never quit or tell anyone about your job hunting efforts until you have signed your offer letter with the next employer. If you're telling people stuff about how to do your job when you're gone, you kind of have to let them know you're going in order to provide context for that. 1 Answer Sorted by: 19 I am sure there's a canonical question this should be a duplicate of, but the right answer is always: Get a firm written offer in hand from another company (after any negotiation of terms) When talking with her I might also bring the implied threat into the light. OP, this is really a reflection of the organization and not you at all, which perhaps your boss at least understands on some level. To avoid knowledge boxing it's good if company could have 2 or 3 KTs per a month. That being said, we have had letters here where the company will keep a persons name on their website well after theyve quit in order to look more stable. Hahahaha, Ive asked multiple times at my giant org when someone retires, who is my next point of contact and gottencrickets. It puts the company in the position of needing to hire someone. I did so because it would have been unprofessional, as well as rude, to just disappear. Not being allowed to contact the board sounds woefully dysfunctional to me! At some point, someone may have to tell some of your colleagues. Of course, even. I am inclined to trust the LWs narrative here, not just because of Allisons request that we take the LWs at their word. Latex3 how to use content/value of predefined command in token list/string? If the boss wanted to time to handle things, she should have asked for it. And am I right to read the bit about marring my contributions as a veiled threat to badmouth me within the community if I tell anyone else? If you were laid off or fired, the company would issue a rap sheet about you to the ENTIRE COMPANY of all the things you did wrong. Altogether, it was unprofessional and selfish, and it didnt make us look great. Sometimes I've found that people thought more highly of me than I realized. Of. Definitely sounds like a sketchy situation! I was also told to tell no one I was leaving or go into details as to why. The Workplace Stack Exchange is a question and answer site for members of the workforce navigating the professional setting. Right. ), (Also: your username made me smile; love that plant. OP didnt send unsolicited Im leaving emails to the volunteers. Right? I have been in a similar boat to OP I actually gave notice weeks ago, but was told not to say anything despite large client facing projects and a need to set up a transition plan with the people on those projects. He is definitely not coming back but she just keeps saying when he returns. She hasnt posted the job to find someone else and she isnt admitting hes gone (I hope that hes actually OKhe stopped responding to his personal email address too.)
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