Whether or not it's normal to like being alone really depends on the reason behind why you choose to be alone.
Whilst many people dont like to be alone with their thoughts, you find a little introspection quite relaxing. Some people seem to have an endless supply of energy. 2018;8(5). We can have private moments and stillness when we are in company, we can dip in and out, and we can traverse a rich inner world when alone. March 3, 2022 You're about to read an article titled "You Can Learn to Love Being Alone." Before you start reading, think about that statement. If the thought of being alone makes you fear that you'll end up feeling lonely, research suggests it may be helpful to reframe time spent alone as solitude. | Nat Commun. In one study, participants were assigned to either read about the prevalence of loneliness, read a passage about the benefits of solitude, or read about an unrelated topic. Welldoing Ltd - Registered in England and Wales No. Read our, How Personality Affects the Need for Alone Time, Getting Others to Respect Your Alone Time, 18 Things to Do on Your Birthday When You're Alone, Loneliness: Causes and Health Consequences, 'I Don't Need Friends': Why You Might Feel This Way, The Impact of Social Isolation on Mental Health, What to Do If Youre Feeling Alone in a Relationship, The 10 Best Books About Loneliness of 2022, INTP: Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Perceiving, Daily Tips for a Healthy Mind to Your Inbox, things that you might like to do by yourself, How BIS/BAS and psycho-behavioral variables distinguish between social withdrawal subtypes during emerging adulthood, The default network of the human brain is associated with perceived social isolation, Just think: The challenges of the disengaged mind, Tips for overcoming alone time still caused by COVID-19, via Maryland Smith expert, Who enjoys solitude?\n
In fact, alone time might help you relax and recharge. You discover & connect with your true feelings 4. One study found that many people would prefer to give themselves painful electric shocks rather than sit alone with their own thoughts. First, do you already love being alone? Medical Reviewers confirm the content is thorough and accurate, reflecting the latest evidence-based research. You can treat yourself to thing that makes you happy, but may have upset someone else. Solo time is amazing, though! Get our newsletter for the best of ABC Everyday each week. One study found that people who tend to purposely withdraw in order to spend time alone also tend to be highly creative people. There are two main types of intimacy: friendship-based and passion-based (i.e. When you spend time alone on a regular basis, and eventually start to enjoy being alone, you'll come to find that you also enjoy your relationships with other people even more. "name": "Is solitude addictive? There are many reasons why you might not like most people, but some of the common ones are: you think people are shallow, self-absorbed, and selfish. Over time, I have learnt to enjoy the expansiveness of time, connections to friends and family, and self-intimacy that comes with being single. This was important when danger lurked around every corner. Certain types of socializing drain you. However, if you choose to be alone because you are self-conscious or uncomfortable around other people, then that is not normal. It might be a sign that you suffer from social anxiety. Self-compassion gives you permission to be human. 4 Steps to Regain Confidence, Living a Life of Fulfillment: How To Find Peace, Purpose, And Happiness, 20 Monthly Goals Ideas To Help You Grow in 2023. Theres something very unsatisfying to you about those surface-level interactions other people seem to enjoy. This causes them to feel overstimulated when theyre in social situations for a long time. "@context": "http://schema.org", As much as we may like our personal space, most of us crave connection with other people. In that survey, 16% said they hade no acquaintances, 15% hade no friends, and 21% hade no close friends. Another side to social anxiety is the fear of becoming too emotionally close to another person and the risk that poses. ", This is just a highlight reel, and a lot of it may not even be real. Some will even try to convince you that youre just shy. The time spent alone gives you a greater appreciation for yourself. The sweetness to solitude can bring us into the world. Know when your hopes are well-founded and how to turn your deep desires into results. My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence. 12 Things That Optimistic Realists Do Naturally, How To Become Very Good At Making Positive Changes In Your Life, 11 Things To Do Instead Of Complaining About Your Problems, Successful People Never Let These 12 Things Stand In Their Way, 10 Signs You Have A Strong Character Thats Often Mistaken For Arrogance, The Power Of Perseverance: 14 Traits Of Those Who Never Give Up, 15 Habits Of People Who Have Mastered The Art Of Reading Others, 15 Indispensable Qualities Of A Great Team Player, 13 Things Disciplined People Know Better Than To Do. For example, rather than focusing on everything you havent managed to do today, consider the fact that you DID go on a long walk, even if you didnt manage a run and that you DID speak to your friend on the phone, even if you forgot to post their card in time. Work Life Balance for Women: What It Means & How to Find It, The Power of Leverage in Leading the Life You Want, The Key to Creating a Vibrant (And Magical Life) by Lee Cockerell, 9 Tips on How To Disconnect From Work And Stay Present. Spending time alone provides much-needed time to take care of yourself. These people naturally know themselves really well. "People overestimate the benefits of being with someone else.". They turn to drugs or alcohol because they feel lonely and they need something to help them connect with other people. Do you prefer spending time alone rather than going out in a group? Contrary to popular belief, introverts didn't enjoy solitude any more than extroverts. They can help you to explore why you like to be alone, whether or not it is healthy, and what to do if its not. You may want to try speaking to one via BetterHelp.com for quality care at its most convenient. Check out the article Best Hobbies for Loners to discover new activities you can enjoy. } With two or more people, you arent always going to be able to go to your favorite restaurant or see the movie you want to see. While many people struggled with feelings of isolation and loneliness, others faced the challenges of suddenly spending a great deal of time in close quarters with family members or roommates. With that knowledge, its then easier to regulate your emotions. They can make it seem unnatural as if you hate people. That depends on whether we see ourselves through a critical or a compassionate lens, from a position of judgement or one of acceptance. I need time alone to feel like myself and I can be ruthless in protecting it. { doi:10.3390/bs8050049, Rodriguez M, Bellet BW, McNally RJ. Alone time is an opportunity to let your mind wander and strengthen your creativity. 11. Setting aside time each day to "unplug" from devices can reduce distractions and contribute to productivity. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases. Enjoying time alone is a must if youre going to be independent and avoid focusing on others for entertainment, attention, and validation. Being alone can be both healing and revealing if we learn to embrace it. I feel energized when I spend time by myself. From dining alone to learning the art of solitude, here's how to unearth the joys of being alone. Here are just a few science-backed reasons for spending time alone: 1. ", We all need attention and validation from time to time, but feeling unable to spend any time alone is a sign that something needs to be healed within your mindset. Perhaps we're afraid to be on our own for good reason loneliness is now considered an epidemic, with one in four Australians feeling its symptoms at least one day a week. Kendra Cherry, MS, is a psychosocial rehabilitation specialist, psychology educator, and author of the "Everything Psychology Book.". Being alone, on the other hand, can present some of the most enriching moments. You're able to think more clearly 3. It either means youre anti-social, or unwanted, neither of which are a good position to be in. Without the need to care for or interact with other people, you can ignore outside influences and focus inward. When you are alone you can take time to become involved in activities that you really enjoy with no pressure as to how well you perform them or how accomplished you are. Science. ", It can be a way to try new things, research topics that fascinate you, acquire knowledge, and even practice new methods of self-expression. High-conflict personalities and people with Cluster B personality disorders tend to be emotionally immature. Better off alone: daily solitude is associated with lower negative affect in more conflictual social networks. A pandemic will do that to you. On a more serious note, I do think our current health crisis is a serious challenge to ones mental health. Only when you are completely alone can you get the peace you long for. The following are signs you may have isolophilia: Though people who have isolophilia tend to be introverted, a person may be predominantly extroverted but still have isolophilia because they love spending time alone. The belief or observation that the world is built for two can make being single daunting at times. Research suggests that people experience more loneliness now than they have in the past. Isolophilia just specifies a preference, or inclination, for solitude. While you may try to work through this yourself, it may be a bigger issue than self-help can address. 2015;10(2):227-237. doi:10.1177/1745691614568352, Birditt KS, Manalel JA, Sommers H, Luong G, Fingerman KL. Disclosure: this page contains affiliate links to select partners. You arent an overly active individual and your favorite place in the world is the nice comfy chair or couch you sit on. Solitude provides the perfect environment for reflection. But solitude is defined as a state or a situation not a place or final destination. It's a side to being single that's often unexplored the lack of emotional intimacy or physical touch that's assumed to be typical of romantic relationships isn't as glamorous to talk about as recent dating escapades. But eating solo can also be an art and it doesn't have to be out at a restaurant to be significant. Too many people try to muddle through and do their best to overcome issues that they never really get to grips with. Levels of nature and stress response. Even if its just a few sentences each day, it can make a difference. This can lead them to have difficulties with decision-making and memory storage and recall. We constantly look to other people for advice on what we should do next. 2018. doi:10.31234/osf.io/sjcwg. Try not to judge or edit yourself as you go and just write. According to one 2018 report, half of Americans feel lonely sometimes, while 25% report feeling lonely almost all the time. Learning to accept all that we are, including our imperfections, is crucial, because when we approve of ourselves, the approval of others becomes less restrictive. Anxiety may be the underlying cause of many physical symptoms. These are common physical signs of anxiety. 2014-2023 When Women Inspire | Christy Birmingham-Reyes, Enjoying alone time IS possible, and heres how, Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), Click to share on Skype (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window), What A Time To Be Alone by Chidera Eggerue. Being alone gives you the perfect opportunity for a little self reflection. Each person has differing needs for solitude and social time. Try to distract yourself and focus solely on what youre doing or want to do. Spend time doing things you enjoy. "acceptedAnswer": { Blurred work-life boundaries and a lack of time apart meant that many people were suddenly struggling with a complete lack of alone time. Before you convince yourself that youre addicted to solitude, check to see if youve been spending a lot of time in social situations.